Breaking the Normality
by EYES to LIE
Summary: The immortal “ifs” and “maybes” continue to buzz eternally throughout his royal mind, choking and corroding it until there is only one thought; How did I lose her? -You didn't lose her, boy. You let her go.- A Prince muses on races past... Aikka - centric


**Title: Breaking the Normality****  
By: EYEStoLIE****  
Rating: T  
Pairing: EvAikka**

**Disclaimer: I no own Oban.

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_At times, Prince Aikka feels everything could have been different._

The immortal "ifs" and "maybes" continue to buzz eternally throughout his royal mind, choking and corroding it with regretful thoughts. He knows it to be the fool's way, thinking about the past—drowning yourself in it—but there are some things Aikka feels he cannot change, so he does as instructed and broods. Such is the nature of a Prince, to do as he is told—be it by those better than he or by his own consciousness, he knows only one rule, and that is to obey.

_However, it seems some rules are forever meant to be broken._

By now, the Prince has lost count of the times he has been told over and over to do one simple task. The one simple task he cannot bring himself to complete, defying everything he's ever known. All for one girl. _Forget her, _they say. And he feels that he must—that he is obligated to do so. His father and Canaan, neither will let him forget to forget. It is only his mother that stands by his side, who hugs him reassuringly when he feels like he will break in half from disobedience. Who tells him, _Do as you wish, my son, for honor is great, but love is greater. _

_And so the immortals begin again._

_If only, if only_, he thinks to the skies. _When this happened, I should've done this, or when that happened I should have done that. _It goes on and on until he feels himself losing control of his thoughts, no longer thinking in words, but in images. A girl sleeping peacefully on a hammock behind a makeshift curtain. A glimmer of hair as black as coal and as bright as burning flames at the same time. A mouth, smiling at him with warmth. Eyes dark as rubies, glaring at him with hatred and betrayal.

At first, he hadn't been sure, despite the fact of how unavoidable it was. She had an energy to her, a pulse of life. It drew him in like a moth to a flame; a pilot to a race… A lover to their beloved's arms. But he hadn't known if he felt love for her, or just the affection he had felt as an older brother, watching his sister cautiously, making sure she wasn't hurt.

_[But she was hurt.]_

And this he knows all too well. The Crogs, Sul, her partner, her _father_, and even he—a Prince!—had hurt her. The shame still burned deep within the reaches of his soul. There was no forgiveness to be found, and he deserved none.

_[She forgave you.]_

A miracle, he thought it. That he could do so much—to threaten her, to insult her honor, to be so wicked in his ways—and that she would still cry over him. That she would forgive him, heal him, then ask his help in matters beyond his understanding or abilities. That she would hold him without feeling repulsed. Amazing, she was. And she most likely still is.

_[Molly.]_

He felt he had left a part of himself, that day when they left. She raised her fist to him, and he to hers, showing that they were still friend. That she still cared about him. And he cared for her more than she would ever know. But he should have called out to her. Told her of how he felt, _if _he had, then _maybe_… He shakes his head to rid himself of those returning burdens, then thinks to himself.

How did I lose her?

_[You didn't lose her, boy. You let her go.]_

Thinking, Prince Aikka looks out, past the window ledge he sits on, past the city of his birth. Past the mountains and past the sky, to the moon. And he looks at it, hoping that she looks there too. A knock sounds on the door, and Canaan tells him that the Ambassador is here, and the Prince makes a non-committal sound. The fighting master leaves and sighs, wondering what he can do to help the poor boy who does nothing but what he's told, and then stare at the moon. Coming up with nothing, he tells the Ambassador the Prince isn't feeling well. A laugh like bells pierces the thick wood of the door they stand outside of, the familiarity of it breaking through the smog of depression and dragging the Prince out.

"Molly?" he cries out, throwing the door open, hoping that it's her. Praying to see her again, just one more time so he can tell her.

But the hallway is empty.

The next day, he hears the news; _**"Young Star Racer Pilot Burns In Unfortunate Accident" **_and he knows what he heard.

Nothing but a ghost.

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